I am glad that February is over. It was a very stressful month in my life and I am personally thrilled that March is here. The major event in my life that caused many sleepless nights and anxiety to fill every bone in my body was the Ordination Interviews with the Board of Ordained Ministry. It was dreaded because of my own insecurities and the big 'ol questions that begin with What if...?
I have a fear of failure. Always have. I knew that in my heart of hearts that the last three years were far from failure when it comes to my growth as a person and as a pastor. But anxiety built as I thought about this 'what if': What if the Board does not see that growth. What if they don't see the gifts I bring. What if they don't agree with the congregations I serve?
Well they did! It was an extremely affirming day and went much smoother than I anticipated. When I woke up the day of the interview I wasn't stressed. It kind of freaked me out at how non-anxious I was. Of course I was a little nervous but that is to be expected. As the day progressed I had a peace come over me and by the end of the day I was confident that I was going to be approved. And I was! I was tired after a long day when I found out and didn't react like some of my other colleagues. I was happy but was not very emotional. Not sure why but it has been sinking in more and more.
The Sunday following my interview one of the Churches totally caught me off guard. The were playing it cool all morning and no one congratulated me. I thought this was weird. Well, at the end of the worship service I was presented with roses and other flowers, balloons, a huge card signed by everyone and cards hand-made by the kids. They had a reception for me with a beautiful cake at fellowship hour. What a wonderful celebration! I can not tell you how much that meant to me. Yet, it was their prayers and support that meant the most to me (by both churches).
So, here I am one step closer to where God has called me. I am one step closer because of God's grace. I am one stop closer because of the folks I am in ministry with. I am one step closer because of colleagues/mentors who pushed me and encouraged me. I am one step closer because of the love of my family. I am one step closer. Thank God. What is one thing you are closer to? What are you working towards and how has God and those around you helped?
